A friend of mine on Twitter, thoughtswithN, (https://twitter.com/justmominit), has encouraged me greatly and I have currently been going through a self-care booklet she has made.
I have been taking my time working through it and often just thinking on the topics. My current focus is the journaling topic. Addressing certain topics about myself and attempting to discern what I desire and wish. It has been difficult in some topics such as “Things I would like to change about/in my life right now” and “If I could change one relationship in my life”. Now I could just jot down each answer that comes to my mind but I have focused on self-reflection. My answers and the “why” behind them.
What a hard topic I face some days! The one I answered recently was “My biggest fear for myself.” I thought long and hard and summed it up in this sentence “I am afraid of failing everyone I know and love completely and unforgivably.” A true fear. I know we all fail sometimes, that there is forgiveness, that we learn and move on. But what about failing and not being forgiven? An difficult concept I am still trying to work through in my mind. This fear can become consuming and prevent me from seeing those who “do” forgive and “do” reconcile, prevent me from seeing that it is difficult to fail utterly and completely.
How would you deal with such a fear? I am still trying to work through it in my mind.